Impossible

Since January when we learned Ellie would have health issues, some visualizations have helped me cope.  I would think of something like a car on a country road at night with headlights only showing a few feet of dusty road ahead.  Or sometimes I would imagine being on a highdive and having to jump even though I wasn't sure of the amount of water below.  These things go against my "planning" nature of course.  So on July 26, 2012 a new imgage popped into my head.  Ellie was three months old and we'd been "surviving" the summer watching her decline and still struggle to breathe.  It was the morning we were scheduled to be admitted to the hospital and it marked the "end" of summer and Jeff and I working together as a fairly well-oiled machine with this new little fragile baby.  I woke up and all of the sudden I remembered a scene from an Indiana Jones movie 20 years ago. I had hoped I had remembered it correctly and weeks later when I looked it up, it was as meaningful as I'd imagined.  There are tons of biblical versions of this as well - Peter being afraid to walk on water to Jesus for instance.  But this movie scene became implanted in my head and it has meant so much to me personally since then.  I've been there Indy. I've too thought, "Impossible".